Starting in the shallow end, working my way down...

I've never been one to just jump right into something. I'm a planner and researcher at heart. When George and I found out that we were expecting our first child, I immediately bought every book on pregnancy and labor and delivery I could find from the library, and read them straight through, long before I was 9 months pregnant. I've researched cloth diapers and baby-wearing and mini-vans before deciding to do or buy any of those things.

Right now I think I'm on my most nerve-wracking research project. I'm not comfortable saying what it is yet (especially since we're still somewhat on the fence about whether or not we'll move forward with it), but I'll make it clear that it's not anything drastic like divorce, moving to another country, or becoming vegan. However, it WILL be life-altering.

I go through highs and lows when researching things I'm interested in persuing. At times I'll be filled with excitement and joy over the journey I'm about to embark on. Other times I'll think to myself "WHAT am I getting myself into? WHY did I ever consider doing this??" It doesn't help that I'm a visual learner, and there's only so much explaining in print that my brain can process before I need something in my hands or before my eyes to make all the ideas presented to me "click" together in my brain. When George and I decided to cloth diaper our kids I was a nervous wreck about spending all that money for a bunch of diapers I was afraid we might never use until the big box arrived and I had them in my hands. I had several "Oooooh, THAT'S how it works!" moments while going through that box. I'm gradualing having more "ah-ha!" moments about what I'm currently researching, but not enough to make me feel 100% confident in making a final choice. I may never really be 100% confident unless/until we actually start doing it. It's part of what makes this possible adventure seem so exciting and so frightening.

But if it works out the way I'm hoping it will work out, it is going to be a wonderful thing for our family!

(and NO it's not another baby!)